Wednesday, December 19, 2012

dating advice for women

Dating Tips
Dating is a way of knowing a person, however many girls remain very confused about what they should say, how they should behave, how to dress, etc., on a date, especially if it is their first date with a person. Here are some crucial dating advice for girls  that will aid to make your date a successful one.
  • One of the most important tip is to avoid giving wrong signals to the guy. It is perfectly fine to flirt with your date, however you should know where you have to draw the line. Though you may not intend to, the guy might take your signs in a different way which can cause problems for you.
  • Many times, girls dress up and behave in a way which is quite different from who they actually are, just to impress their date. What they do not realize is that this will not work because in the long run, the guy will surely come to know about the girl's real nature which may lead to their breakup. Girls should remember true love is when the guy loves and accepts them for what they actually are and people who want them to change do not actually love them.
  • Before you start a relationship, it is important that you know the guy well and the easiest way to do this is by becoming friends. Most guys take more time to open up than girls and so you need to be patient with him. Talk to him about subjects and topics that interest him and also show him that you understand and care for his feelings and I am sure he will become more comfortable with you.
  • Your appearance matters a lot when you are going on a date. Guys love to go around with girls who are well dressed. One thing girls should remember that their outfit for the date should be something that they are comfortable in and also according to the venue of the date. If they are having a dinner date, it is best you dress in a formal way, however if you are having a casual date at the movies or the amusement park, it is better to dress in clothes that will make you feel comfortable in such places.
  • Many girls tend to be possessive once they start dating a person. Girls should remember that this may put off your date as guys do not like to be with girls who are too clingy. Hence, if you have the habit of calling your guy every few hours to know his whereabouts, it is better to stop this kind of behavior at once. Give him his space and he will surely be faithful to you.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Three Big Turn Offs For Men

When it comes to men, I can share with you some of their most profound turnoffs and what women can do to turn on – and not turn off — men they’re interested in. The good news for women is that the vast majority of men are looking for love and companionship from a woman, so the key is understanding the opposite sex better so that men and women can have happy and productive relationships with each other.
 
Turnoff # 1: Expecting him to pay for everything.

Before we go further, ask yourself the following questions: Do you expect that a man will foot the bill on your first date? How would you feel if he offered to split the bill with you?
Well, I can tell you that some men are happy to pay, expect to pay, and want to pay for their dates with a woman. There are a lot of other men, however, who think it’s confusing why a woman who works would expect a man to pay for her when she’s perfectly capable of paying for herself. Some men end up feeling resentful that women turn them into an automatic financial provider, even though they may not even know each other’s last names!

How to handle the issue: Always offer to pay for yourself on a date. Many men prefer to pay for a woman on a date, but appreciate it when she offers to pay for herself. Even though many men won’t let her pay, the fact that she offered shows the man that she isn’t automatically expecting it. It’s the expecting it that turns many men off.

Turnoff # 2: Playing hard to get.

Conventional wisdom tells us that men want sex much more than women, though that isn’t always the case. During the dating process, men often feel frustrated, feeling as if women put the breaks on having sex – not because the women don’t want to have sex, but because the women enjoy playing hard to get and making men “work for it,”.  Sometimes women will joke with men early in the dating process, saying things like, “You’re going to have to wait a little longer.” Men get turned off when they feel that women are using sex as a sort of power move, and they’ll often lose interest if the games continue for too long.

How to handle this issue: Men don’t get turned off if a woman explains in an understandable manner why she wants to wait. If you don’t want to become intimate early on with a man, that’s fine – and even a good thing! But if you want to wait to have sex, tell him in a matter-of-fact way why it’s important to you to wait and be careful not to tease him. Teasing or joking about it makes him think you’re getting a rush out of making him wait, and he will lose interest if he feels that you’re not being authentic with him.

Turnoff # 3: Talking about love, marriage, and children too soon.

I understand the urge to tell a man you just started dating what you want: a marriage, children, and whatever else floats your boat. But the key is to not overwhelm him too soon about the plans you are mentally making in your head for the two of you. Men get turned off if you seem too anxious to get married and have children. Men know that, early on, you don’t really know them, and they need to trust that you like them for them before you get carried away designing the rest of your life.

How to handle the issue: It’s fine on a first date to tell someone that you’re looking for a relationship, but wait a few weeks to share other wishes you have about your future lifestyle. After a few weeks – or even a month or two – tell him what your interests are in terms of getting married or having children (including whether you want that conventional lifestyle or not). In the case that you want to get married and have children, make sure to tell him that you’re not in a rush and feel happy to take things slowly so the two of you can get to know each other and determine if the two of you are truly a good fit.

Overall, men are looking for love and companionship, and they’re looking for someone who cares about their thoughts and feelings – even if they sometimes pretend they don’t have them! Keep in mind the turnoffs above and you will avoid walking into some common traps that have derailed many romantic relationships in the past.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Learn How To Inspire Your Man To Express His Feelings





Have you ever experienced this? Are things are going well with your guy. So well, as a matter of fact, that when you start feeling insecure about something or want to share something you think he'll perceive as “negative”, you keep it inside. You're afraid that by being honest with him, you'll rock the boat.
Even worse, you end up feeling even more scared and lonely because he doesn't seem to be sharing what he's thinking with you, either. So you start pretending everything's okay, even when you're just dying to ask him if something's wrong.
I know how confusing and frustrating this can be.

Myth: Men Hate Talking About Their Feelings

Yes, Men do really like to talk about there feelings
Sometimes men will hold back feelings but really if you ask they will tell. You have to get them alone and out of there enviroment. (away for the tv away from the boat) Sometimes all you have to do is ask.

Truth: Men Are Able To Open Up And Share - With The Right Woman

Here's the incredible secret I learned that turned my love life around and brought me the closeness.
A man doesn't like emotional intensity or hidden tension. That kind of “drama” pushes a man away and makes him want to clam up and withdraw.
In order to feel comfortable, a man needs to know that he's safe with you. He'll feel safe when he sees that you are in touch with your feelings and able to express them in a clear, non-judgmental way.
Next time you're feeling disconnected from your man, take these two steps in order to make a man feel safe enough to open up with you:

Step 1: Stop Pretending

Pretending to feel confident or stuffing down negative emotions in order to avoid conflict is absolutely the wrong approach. It will make a man feel uneasy around you because he'll sense that you're pretending. If he feels uneasy, he can't be honest with you about what he's feeling.
This is why trying to look confident when you aren't doesn't work. A man will sense you're pretending, and it will push him away.
Instead, allow yourself to be vulnerable and authentic.

Step 2: Share Your Feelings Without Making Him Responsible

The key here is to share feelings, not thoughts or actions. The next time you're tempted to tell a man what to do or what you think, stop yourself.
Go with what's going on inside you. Feel your heart beat, your stomach gurgle, and your chest tighten because you're frustrated.
Feel yourself getting giddy or anxious because you don't know what to say.
Feel the most concrete, real, simple thing you can, and communicate that. Say, “I'm really sad right now,” rather than “I think you spend too much time at work.” or "I told you to do etc...#### "
“He'll feel safe when he sees that you are in touch with your feelings and able to express them in a clear, non-judgmental way.”
See the difference? You're simply expressing a feeling rather than asking him to fix it or making him feel like he caused you to feel awful.
 I'll take you by the hand and show you exactly how to frame your feelings so he won't feel like you're making him responsible for them.
I'll show you how to say what you feel - simply, directly, passionately, and with energy and conviction. You'll be amazed at how expressing your feelings this way will inspire your man to open up to you in ways you never imagined.
And STILL he tells us that he's not sure how he feels. Or he becomes distant and moody. Or he stops calling or asking us out as often as he used to. Or he does something very hurtful, or cheats,or tells us that he doesn't believe we are  "meant" to be together.
This happens because deep down, you didn't trigger love in his HEART. You didn't connect on the deepest, most intimate level ... his feelings.

How to connect with a man's heart

First, here's what doesn't connect with a man's heart: When you tell a man about what you think about the relationship, or what you did that day, or what you think of the latest news you've read or the gossip at work, he listens. He participates in the conversation. But his feelings aren't triggered.
That's because you share everything but who you are. You put up walls with him without even knowing you're doing it. You decide not to tell him the sorrow you felt that morning or how a friend made you happy by calling you and cheering you up.

But if you were to allow yourself to FEEL what you're feeling, and then speak from those feelings, you would make him feel safe and connected to you.

It seems like such a simple thing. It's difficult.  So many of us are programmed to be doing, thinking, managing, worrying creatures. Unfortunately, these qualities make a man feel nothing around you.
When you become a feminine, juicy, sensual FEELING creature, you magnetize him simply by being what you were always meant to be... an alluring beautiful lady who is soft on the outside, but strong and resilient on the inside.
How do you do that? It's easy when you know exactly how to use your feelings and emotions to communicate the irresistible feminine quality that lures a man in.
To learn how to achieve the kind of closeness you've always wanted with a man, starting right now, just open up and pull him aside and connect to him with your eyes and let him know what you are feeling I promise he will connect with you and will always be by your side.

tom y (of course this my opinion and only mine)

 Single during the holidays

It's during the holidays  I become a huge sap.  I'm a romantic at heart and I love my relationship I am in. I have a beautiful lady that loves the holidays like I do. Having said all of that, this doesn't mean that anyone should  jump into a relationship because they are feeling a bit lonely. Being alone is very hard this time of year. That is why family and friends is so important. I know that sometimes this time of year they can even get on your nerves.

I know all of us has to just to be ourselves at holiday time and enjoy our family and friends

Monday, December 10, 2012

5 Sneaky Ways To Find Out If Your Partner Is Cheating

5 Sheaky ways to find if you partner is cheating
5 Sneaky Ways To Find Out If Your Partner Is Cheating


The most horrible thing in the world is when you find out someone is cheating on you. It can nearly destroy your life and send you on a downwards spiral until you lose control. It’s the last thing you would ever want to happen to anyone, never mind yourself. Sometimes we choose to put our faith in the wrong people. We think what we have is special, but we’re blinded to what’s really going on. It’s really sad to admit, but there’s a huge percentage of people willing to cheat these days.


Whether or not they know the consequences is anyone’s guess, but it’s something that happens and we must accept it. You need to find out before it’s too late. You want out of your relationship so you can go out and find someone who will treat you right. The first thing you need to know is whether anyone has cheated or not. If you’re already suspicious and don’t have any history of paranoia then you could be right. Let’s have a look at some ways you can find out the truth about whether someone is cheating on you or not.

The phone test

Most people having an affair will use their phone to speak to the other person. This is where it gets complicated because you can’t just check someone’s phone. You can wait until they are using it one day and walk behind them to reach over and kiss their cheek. You should be able to see by their reaction whether or not they have something to hide. If they are sending a message to someone they shouldn’t be it’s going to be hard for them to keep it secret because instinctive reactions always give people away.

Going out more at night

People don’t just usually start going out more at night. When you’re trying to think of excuses to cover your tracks it’s easy to think the other person is stupid when in fact it’s the other way around. If someone automatically starts going to the gym with their friend every night there could be something happening. The easiest way to find out is by asking questions, but be creative and ask one they might not have planned for. That way you’ll be able to tell.

Getting rid of the evidence

When people have been out and something has happened they won’t be too comfortable when they get home. It’s possible they want to jump in the shower before you can touch them. Maybe they want to get their clothes off and change into something else. Watch carefully how someone reacts and you should be able to tell if it’s normal or not. Sometimes all it takes is common sense.

You get more attention

Some people have a pretty strange way of dealing with an affair and that’s to show more affection towards their partner. For some reason they think that paying more attention to you will eliminate any thoughts from your head that anything bad is happening. This is once again proof that people think about things way more than they should. If they wanted to hide something from you they would act normal, but they don’t. They overcompensate and you can use it to find out if something is going on.

Lay a booby trap

People who cheat will probably do some of their communicating on the computer. Not always, but when people are using websites specifically designed to help people have affairs they will use the home computer at some point. If you install keylogger software it will tell you everything someone has done online. Once they are out at work you can see what they’ve been doing. This should only be used as a last resort when you are pretty sure what’s going on and you just want hard evidence.